Raising My ADHD Child Taught Me I Was Never Broken
On certain mornings, I can know even before he says anything. The universe inside his head seems to have woken up early, and the air is electric. My son speaks more quickly, moves more swiftly, and forgets things equally quickly. Even though I know that word has never worked for any of us, I mutter, “Slow down.”
In addition to being my kid, he is a reflection of me. I am familiar with the disorganized thinking, misplaced shoes, and erratic emotions. Managing two race cars at once is what it’s like to be a parent of a child with ADHD while also having it myself. On certain days, we move smoothly. We spin out on certain days. Some people also consider to buy Adderall online from trusted source.
I Had No Safe Place. Can I Build One for My Son?
I used to believe that my role was to soothe him. Children that are quiet and can transition well are rewarded by society. He was in action from birth. He picks up on everything, including the flickering lights, the hum of the refrigerator, and the way a room transforms when people become agitated. Neither he nor I are able to filter life.
Teachers told me I had talent when I was younger if I would just concentrate. Since then, the word “focus” has accompanied me. These days, I hear it when I see my son struggle to do his homework or pay attention to instructions that are too lengthy. The same way my eyes used to glaze over, so do his. When his thoughts wander, I know exactly where they go. All at once, everywhere.
It’s like trying to tune in to one of a thousand radio stations in your head when you have ADHD. The noise never ceases when a youngster is raised on that same frequency. I am patient on some days. On other days, I’m not. I can feel myself melting along with him. I tell him to breathe, not realizing that I also need to take a breath.
However, there is also a mutual understanding that is beyond words. I already know when he is unable to express his emotions. I can see the struggle behind his eyes when someone calls him impetuous. I can hear the truth when he speaks too candidly. Emotions are difficult for us to conceal. That could be both our greatest strength and weakness.
On certain days, we spiral together because we’re both overstimulated and don’t know how to stop. On other days, though, we discover our groove. As we stroll the dog, we discuss everything that comes to mind. I try to respond to his inquiries even though he asks them more quickly than I can. These are the times that provide tranquility. I begin to remember what it was like to be him instead of attempting to transform him.
The Blessings (and Trials) of Parenting with ADHD
When he eventually goes to sleep at night, I consider how hard he works to get through the day. A boy who can’t sit still is seen by others. I see a boy who manages to chuckle despite fighting invisible wars all day and night.
He has changed the way I perceive my own thoughts. I used to believe that having ADHD caused me to be too disorganized. I now find empathy and inventiveness in the same qualities that I formerly detested. He and I both have intense feelings about everything. Perhaps we’re not broken. Perhaps we simply navigate the world in different ways.
I worry about how people will treat him on some days. On other days, rather than attempting to blend in, I think he will transform the world. He has a lively and active intellect. His inquisitiveness has no bounds. I am exhausted by his energy, but it also keeps me alive.
He and I are mirror images of one other. I can see in his reflection the aspects of myself that I used to be ashamed of and the aspects that I am now coming to appreciate. I find calm when I assist him in finding it. I think it’s a little more beneficial for us both when I tell him that being different is not a bad thing.
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